Mother Ramblings

BoysHere I am writing my first post in a long time. I finally feel like I am starting to get back in to ‘normal’ life since having my baby…14 months ago, almost. As we struggle through molars and separation anxiety with the toddler, we are struggling with independence and boundaries with the 12-year-old. Life is interesting when you have children 11 years apart. (They have both changed so much since this picture was taken a year ago.)

First off WAY different pregnancies, with the eldest I vomited everyday of my pregnancy and had pre-eclampsia, labored 17 hours then had an emergency c-section. Wow what a shock that was, the doctor just came in and said, we’re going now, with no warning. The second I only dealt with heartburn and constipation and gestational hypertension the last few weeks. I also scheduled my c-section the last go around because I didn’t want to risk emergency c-section again. I was 22 years old when I had my first baby 33 with the second. It is a world of difference that decade makes.

So not only were my pregnancies different, my circumstances were different. Baby a)had a job where I only worked 8 hours a day and it was sedentary. I was poor, I thought I was living big, but my job also didn’t offer insurance so I was on pregnancy Medicaid. I hated being on Medicaid. I was treated poorly by some because of preconceived notions of people seeking assistance. My husband had the same office job I did, we did not meet there, plus another job, and we were still looked down on because of Medicaid. Looking back I am grateful that we had that assistance, because babies are expensive. Baby b) I work a job where I am there 3 to 4 days a week, usually 16 hour shifts 2 days and 10 to 12 on the other days. I worked until the day before we had the baby, he was moved up 2 weeks due to my hypertension. I work on my feet, I am a nurse around sick and injured patients. I have alright insurance, those hospital bills after the fact are shocking, even when you think you’ve planned it out financially you get a bill from someone who might have glanced your babies direction in the hospital.

I was also unable to breastfeed with baby a. I tried and tried and the doctor gave me medication to help, it just didn’t happen. I also had severe post-partum anxiety that started in the hospital. Baby b I was blessed with being able to breastfeed and help other babies, I was able to donate 4, 816 ounces of breast milk to a milk bank that sent the milk to NICUs. I have been able to talk to other mothers about their struggles and how I overcame my struggles. I also want you to know that it is ok if you are unable to breastfeed, it is hard. It is so much harder and more work than you would think it is. It doesn’t come naturally for everyone and a lot of people do struggle to pump enough, feed enough, or to simply have the confidence that they are a good mother just the way they are. Baby b still nurses, more lately with the teething crankiness.

Working full-time, mothering full-time, being a full-time wife and deciding to go get that BSN it is a lot of work. I am tired and squishy and I want to do more, write more, be less squishy, but it is a day at a time. I am finally back to reading, I want to finish my crafting. It is hard just to find time to sit and breathe. So basically I’m writing to say that hopefully you’ll see more of me in the near future. More of the books, more of the mom stuff because sitting here typing all the babbles is a little relaxing, but it is after midnight, I’ve been home from work for an hour, I have wound down and I am ready to sleep. Tomorrow we start bright and early with the toddler, hopefully better tomorrow than today.


Returning Soon

It has been so long since I’ve really been present here. I do plan on returning soon. Not only with the book reviews but some mommy stuff as well. Mostly I have been working full time (3-4 days a week) and being a full time mom of an 11 year old and a 7 month old. I am almost always tired but I do miss doing this blog. I’m not sure when exactly I will be back to regular posts, most likely after the holidays, but it will be soon. Thanks for your continued interest. Now I will insert the picture of my cute little men.


Sin City, Volume 1: The Hard Goodbye

by Frank Miller
Paperback EditionRead August 5, 2015

Original Release Date: June 1992

Length: 208 pages

Official Description:

The first volume of the crime-comic megahit that introduced the now-infamous Marv and spawned a blockbuster film returns in a newly redesigned edition, with a brand-new cover by Frank Miller-some of his first comics art in years!

It’s a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town. But Marv doesn’t care. There’s an angel in the room. She says her name is Goldie. A few hours later, Goldie’s dead without a mark on her perfect body, and the cops are coming before anyone but Marv could know she’s been killed. Somebody paid good money for this frame . . .

My Take:

Much like reading 300 I watched the film, the first one, before reading this graphic novel.  Set in a noir style world with only black and white art, Frank Miller’s Sin City was a ground breaking novel. Or so I’m told, I don’t really know that much about all the comic world stuff. I like Marv. I like that the book is all about Marv and his desire for his version of justice for Goldie, a woman that he just met. I enjoy a good noir every now and then, as well as a good anti-hero. I love that this sticks with the noir grittiness and the rough around the edges, with a non PC approach. I also find it great the Miller not only wrote the story he also did the art work and lettering, which is fantastically impressive, that’s a lot of immaculate work. Noir is almost always more violent than expected, this graphic novel is no different, along with the violence we have unrealistic nudity. I mean it’s a graphic novel, so we can pretend that people look like that. It has been a few months since I actually read this so, I am a little short on detail. The book draws you in, it is a quick read and you care about Marv, and his obvious rage and insanity. It is amazing how quickly he thinks he falls for a woman, I mean, he goes on a rampage after a one nighter, that’s some crazy commitment. Though I have a pretty good idea how the next comics will go, I still look forward to delving into the insanity that is Basin City and all the residents.


“Hell’s waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you’re here.”

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Into the End


by Bonnie R. Paulson
Kindle EditionRead July 31, 2015

Original Release Date:  March 10, 2012

Length: 297 pages

Official Description: (This is book #1 of Into the End series)

***America’s end is near.***

No one knows why, but the great country is under attack.

After being weakened by countless natural disasters, America opens its airspace for aid. But instead, what is left of the devastated west coast finds itself nearly obliterated from above. The key may belong to tests designed by a Pacific Northwest psychologist, Rachel Parker.

Rachel loses the love of her life in a house fire as they escape with their children to the nearby Rocky Mountains following the first round of air raids. In refuge, she faces her husband’s best friend, Joshua, but doesn’t want to face his ill-harbored feelings or her own inability to face fear.

Her sister, Brenda, escapes the fallen city, and, mistaken for Rachel, is captured. Terrified and alone, Brenda is protected by the enigmatic Daniel even while he helps keep her captive. Through torture and mind games, Brenda discovers information about her sister’s work that could spin the free world into a tumultuous frenzy where the unknown is safer than reality.

Can one woman’s inability to feel fear destroy a nation?

My Take:

Into the End takes a quasi realistic look at what would happen if America was invaded. First of all I found the description a bit misleading, it seems that it is describing the series instead of just this book. Most of the book is spent in the chaotic aftermath of invasion, and trying to understand rather than finding out any real information. First America is invaded when it is at a weak point, it was riddled with natural disasters and whomever invaded decided this was the opportune time. As to the who, what and why, we just see the tip of the iceberg here. Overall the book is back story, lots of flashbacks, not a lot of momentum forward. It isn’t bad, but it’s not captivating until the end. There is so much potential in the story that I’m not willing to write it off, but it just doesn’t come forth in this book. There are many interesting side bits, lots of mystery, it’s just the back stories and momentum that bring everything down. I will read more, eventually, to see if the story moves but I remain cautiously optimistic.

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